Let us consider 't-most' as a variable, where 't' is the population of men and ‘most’ are the men who dominates the other gender, abuses them, harasses them, treats them ill and acts superior over them. So t-most represents the men population who do not belong to most. The population which we often forget about when we are aggressively expressing bigotry against men. The population who we overlook, the population that comprises of the men who have stood by the rest of the genders, who has shown love and compassion, who has spoken up against any discrimination. This population comprises of the fathers who have sacrificed their lives over their daughters, the husbands who have worked hard to give the life the wives wished for, the brothers who ignored the pain on their legs so that their sisters could have a comfortable and fun ride, the friends who picked up their phone and listened to the rants of heartbreak and never complained, who took our sides even when we were wrong. We were so blinded by rage that we forgot to be grateful.
We were so busy looking at their flaws that we missed out on the sweet little things done by them. The cheesy romantic gestures, the big gestures, the bringing us food when cranky, to getting us comfortable when on PMS, buying our tampons to rushing us to the doctor, warming us up in the winter. Not that we cannot do all that by ourselves, but they hopped in and did it anyway, and showed their affection in every way they knew how. Oh yes, they get it wrong, so wrong most of the time, in fact some get it wrong every single time, but they try. They put their best foot forward in ways they knew how, from the hints they picked from peers, movies, and our words. There was so much of hatred and blame that we didn't notice their efforts they made on our account. We don't like being generalised, telling us women are "like this", or any such sexist comments. We take no time in standing up against it and with all our might and strength, gang up against those. Then how could we be such hypocrites and just shove blame on all men. Most of them grew up in a Patriarchal society, yet they are willing to be in our shoes and understand the daily frustration and discrimination or sexism we face. We could do the least and be grateful to them and their will to learn, understand and change.
This population of men is so close to us that they usually go out of focus. We can’t completely blame ourselves now, of course. It’s all science, the minimum distance from our eyes to be able to see and all that. But let’s not make out of sight out of mind the reason. Let’s do our bit. Let's not be the female version of chauvinism, instead, let's bring out some real feminism.
Note: This was written keeping in mind the daily experiences. It was keeping in mind my father’s arm around my shoulder, a brother in the public transport who made his sister comfortable on his lap. It was keeping in mind the friends who were there to listen to me ranting all day long. This is for the men who were willing to put their feet in the shoes of a woman, and came a long way in doing so. I understand and respect their emotions and encourage them to not be ashamed of showing them.
Written by: Tabassum Nusrat
Picture by: Clise Etiquette
Published by: Darshatha
No comments:
Post a Comment