Darshatha- the visible voice : dream

Showing posts with label dream. Show all posts

Wednesday, 13 July 2022

write

Dream big, they say. by Shristi Nangalia

wearedarshatha 16:34

how can one hammer wood without a thud?

how can one stay parched in case of a flood?

how can one be oblivious of dark clouds

and focus only on the silver shine?

how can one wreck all inhibitions

and let acknowledgements align?

how can one feel satiated in a moment

when they've craved of a lifetime?

how can one shun the hollers of the head

and the mind's incessant chime?

how can a heart be full of something

and still miss it?

how can a throat that is dry and suffocating

doesn't care to admit?

how can one yearn of someone

more than they should?

how can one train the touches

and tame the kisses so good?

how can one walk through the rain

without hope, faith and might?

for now, the only way forward

is to dream of clear skies and moonlight.

Writer- Shristi Nangalia

On frame- Toshni Ghatate

Saturday, 4 March 2017

work

Love, That I Lost to Hate by Shristi Nangalia

wearedarshatha 17:00

“Tea?” I asked, like every other day when he is back from the office.

“Ah! Sure. Today was again a stressful day. But you know, I figured out something really important today.” he was smiling.

“What is it?” I smiled back.

“Hehe, it relates to the research I am working on. I was going a little off-track. But, today I fixed it. It was so obvious that I felt sheepish later. But, you see? It was all for the good.” It seemed as if he was talking in his sleep, as if he was in his own dreamland. I loved this thing of his. I couldn’t stop smiling.

And “That’s so good, Suru.” is all I could say.

“Yeah. I have to go back and continue even today.” Suru said.

“You have been doing this often lately. I just want you to take care.”

“Yeah, I know. I want to finish this soon and correctly. Ajay have been helping me constantly. We are good.”

“You don’t look good with dark circles.” I complained, only to keep the conversation going.

“I am dark already. And we are in the United States. Nobody can tell if I have dark circles. Haha!” the optimist joked.

“Don’t say that. You are the brightest thing in my life.”

“Aww... and you are mine.”

“Come back soon, Suru.”

“Of course! Thanks for the tea, Soni. I will see you tomorrow morning then.” he was all set to leave for the office again.

“Hmm... I will miss you.” I meant it.

“Aww.... No, you wouldn’t miss me. Because, you would be having a super tight sleep now. You too are working and you get tired, don’t you?” his eyes were in mine.

How does he always manage to make things sound so right?

“Yes... I do...”

“Good. Now, go sleep like a baby. Take care.” He gave a quick kiss on my forehead and went past the main door. I locked it and went to bed obediently.

----------------------

I woke up to see his sleeping and almost smiling face next to me. I checked my phone, got freshened up and went into the kitchen following the daily routine.

“Good morning, Soni.” said a deeper voice of Suru from a distance.

“Good morning. All well?”

“Yes. I had a lovely sleep. So did you. I came back around 3, took a bath and slept beside you. You did not have a hint.”

“Oh! I am so sorry....” I felt guilty.

“Hey, I am kidding. Even, I did not want to wake you up. Now, take the sorry back.” He said.

“Okay... I take it back. Wait on the table, I will bring your tea and the newspaper is on the console.”

“Thank you.”

I woke up at the same time each day but a few days, I don’t know why, I run late. Like, today.

“Can you help me pack the lunch?”

“Noooo... I can’t.”

“What do you always do this, Suru? Why can’t you?”

“Soni.... If I pack my lunch, I would know what I would eat later on. But if you pack it, I will have that surprise element.” He had his excuses.

I waited a bit to digest what he had just said. But then, I couldn’t control my laughter.

“Hahaha! You talk like a comedian.” I said.

He had his funny child-like face on.

“When we will be having a baby, he is sure going to look like you. Exactly this face of yours!”

“No, I would want him or her to look like you.” He said checking his phone.

“We will see.”

“My Whatapp friend’s group is full of messages. Ritvik is getting married, finally!”

“Ritvik from Mumbai?”

“Yes. He is inviting us.”

“Oh, let’s try and take a few days break then. Our long-thought India trip is yet to happen. Maa will be very happy too.”

“You are right. Let me see if I can get a leave.”

“Okay then. I am going to get ready. I am running late. Here, your lunch box.” I handed him the box.

“Anna datha suhkhi bhava!” he said, raising his arm.

He said this phrase every time he is elated with someone’s offering food to him. It sometimes feels so good to listen to our regional languages while living in the States. Detached, yet still very rooted. That is how Suru is. I always asked him if he misses his country or wants to go back because I knew he was one true and loyal citizen. But he was an optimist. He believed if we can live here happily, we should continue to live here... happily. He believed that unless we are good to others, others will be good to us.

----------------------

Later when I was at my office, I received his text-

Going to the grill and bar with Ajay in the evening. See you straight at dinner.

Little did I know- that this was going to be a lie; that he was not going to see me at dinner that night; that he was not going to see me ever. He never returned. They say he was shot. An overactive ‘fairer’ man misunderstood him due to his colour. At first, it felt like I would go and take away his life. But then, what difference would this make? This wouldn’t bring back my Suru. And Suru would not suggest me to do this... if he was alive.

I did not realise, that I never thought how life would be without Suru. That is why I stay clueless even now... about what actually will happen with me. What made the guy shoot and kill another guy? Hate? Hate for a skin colour, for an entire race? Or was it intolerance? Does it have to do anything with co-existence? Why couldn’t he just live with the hate? How does this hate empower us to the limit that we loose our senses? What did he get out of this? He is going to sleep alone in an empty grey cell for the rest of his life. What a reward he got... for spreading hate.

But the hate remains... in every one of us. Millions of examples lie in front of us. They just lie- dead. Somebody pick them up! Somebody give them a meaning! Somebody show how powerful its antonym, love, is!

Thursday, 26 January 2017

republic

The Republic Day by Juhi Meshram

wearedarshatha 18:00

I felt a sharp pain in my back as I turned to the side in the bed. I woke up to a new morning with an old ache. People who work on computers whether be an engineer or accountant or data operator, every such person must be having the same pain. I faintly unlocked my phone and suddenly my whole system changed. I rushed to the bathroom.

While I was struggling with my earring, I heard the announcement of flag hoisting on television. I ran to the drawing room and stood in attention for the National Anthem. As I was hymning the tune I saw the president paying salute to the flag, army doing the same in their beautiful uniform and the flag flowing in the air with its chin up.

“I want to see this live someday”, I declared in my mind room. The army persons were paying tribute to the flag; the crowd was quite sober out there at the event. It was when my phone rang that my eyes shifted away from television. It was my colleague on the other side.

“Office on 11, be on time”, it was more like an order. “Hey! I have got a set of tasks lined up, I will be late. Please wait till I reach.”, and I hung up with an explanation of being late in the near future. What I watched next was the president standing with his head down in respect and before him was a lady standing in a white saree and a blue shawl.

Her features told me that she belonged to north east and the commentary next introduced her to be the wife of late constable who lost his life fighting the terrorists. His wife politely received the honour and left the stage. As she was walking down the steps, I saw a grief yet satisfaction on her face.

She was crying as they pulled the camera on her. It was live. She met the president, she got the honour and she was crying. He had lost his life serving for the nation and she had lost her love. Nor she had anyone to complain, neither did she gestured to complain. She was polite and took it as an honour. He had chosen the nation first and she obliged.

My phone beeped again to a friend’s message. Meet me in 10 minutes. My friend was in town and he was leaving to the city he worked in that very noon. I tugged my hair, put my heels on and took the keys of my bike. I was driving my way to the cafe when I felt a change in the air. The weather was soothing, different from the other days. “May be the patriots and leaders who lead us to this day are doing this change”, I felt.

I reached the cafe. I was waiting there for my friend when I saw there was a change in the scenario. There were people hanging around with the flag painted on their face, gipsy and bikes were campaigning around like leaders, people around me were busy taking selfies. It was all engaging yet disturbing for me.

As we settled on a table; I and my friend couldn’t hold to watch the television in the cafe. The republic day ceremony was still on air. We were enjoying the showcase. The tableau from different states showing their culture, art and nature mesmerised my eyes and held them for ten long minutes.

Likewise, even my friend was concerned about the value of the day. “You saw the people? I don’t know what they feel it to be. I saw a flag waving on a gypsy.”, he was surprised. “Haha! Doesn’t happen in your metro city”, I said mockingly. And our talk over the respect of this day went on.

I left for my office, biding him goodbye. I missed the flag hoisting but met and greeted everyone. We sat over a light conversation on Bollywood with our boss and then he proudly told us how every year they celebrate the Independence Day and the Republic Day, invite friends, family, neighbours, workers, clients and even the kids passing by the office. They try to create a healthy celebration and a remembrance of the day.

Next, I drove back home. I spent the afternoon watching a movie on television that was based on a cricketer’s life and how he won the world cup for the country. It was a good film though.

I went for a walk in the evening with my friend. I told him about my whole day and how I felt about things; about the weather, the people, the television and everything else. He heard me with a smile and reciprocated politely as I asked him for his opinion. He said, “I think all the people who live nearby should gather in a ground and remember the freedom fighters and defence officers who have sacrificed their lives for the nation; that will be the best way to celebrate this day.”

And he was right, I realized. That one response summed up my whole day. Everything that I had felt that day, everything that had made me think a lot, that every thought got an answer when he said. “. We should at least resolve to follow a thought or a way given by some patriot.” such wise words felt my eyes as they dropped a tear of satisfaction.

The event of celebration that was been held in the capital every year, that was shown live to us, that we ignore every year, was actually a way to meet our real superheroes. The event salutes the efforts of our soldiers, give them a chance to rejoice and also show them the country they guard.

The flag hoisting give us a moment where all of us unite to pay respect to the nation who fought for our freedom, the flag that represented that freedom and the people who survived and even sacrificed for that freedom and the people who were trying at present to keep that freedom intact.

The small celebration like the one that was held in my office was just a way to keep the day alive, save the day to pass like just another holiday. And try to be a voice who said “We salute you” to the ones who worked even that very day for our safety. I got the purpose then.

The movie that had been telecasted was actually a salute to a sportsperson who had contributed shaping our country by his game and making the country proud in the international level. The channel contributed to the day by showing us the man who inspired us to be a better person and pursue our dreams.

The youth that was flaunting the freedom and was waving flags on their gypsy and bikes should have heard my friend. They could have got what this day was about and how they could have respect the day doing something better rather than wasting it that way.

“By crushing individuals, they cannot kill ideas.” by Bhagat Singh, I read. I pledged to follow these lines and to never stop following my dreams and ideals even if it costs me to stand alone. I tried to make these words alive.

“Remember the freedom fighters and defence officers who have sacrificed their lives for the nation; that will be the best way to celebrate this day.”

Saturday, 31 December 2016

youth

One hell of a new year by Juhi Meshram

wearedarshatha 18:00

Happy new yeaarrr!!! LET’S NACHO. This is the best moment. The whole year I have waited for this one time, this one hour. The sound of woofers, flicker of lights, roaring people, overloaded fun, and the whole atmosphere is hyped. But I love to live this hyped life. The moment when all family, friends, strangers; in fact the whole world rejoice together to bid goodbye to the year and welcome a new one.

Standing beside my friend & DJ Alex I am feeling so proud to experience the success of my first ever independent event and trust me, it’s insane. The crowd is making me feel high and trust me again; I haven’t gulped a single drop of alcohol yet. This moment is no less than intoxication and I am totally drowned into it.

I am closing my eyes now, to feel the passing air, its chilled! Yeah! I am feeling a nudge in my shoulder, someone is calling me... but I don’t want to break this moment... GO AWAY!!! IT’S MY TIME. “YES, IT IS TIME WAKE UP NOW.” The voice yelled.

10 a.m. Shit man! I am late. I had to call the caterers. The decorators, they must have reached the lounge and what about Ala? Shit! Shit! Shit!

“You must be dreaming about the party, I am trying to wake you up from the last two hours....”

“C’mon Maa, you should have thrown me out of bed, I am too late! I had to see the decoration and... And there is a lot... Wait! I had to pick up Maira and her troupe from the airport on 11 and... It is 10:15.

“Maira?”

“Our DJ for tonight, Maa. Please take out my black pants and... yeah my sweatshirt is here. I will leave in 5 minutes, Maa please be fast.”

“Beta, eat before you leave, you will be busy the whole day.”

“I have no time Maa, please get my things ready!”

I yelled as I shut the bathroom door.

----------------------------------------------------------

The moment I stepped out of the airport was a pure surprise. There was a guy holding my name board which read

Welcome to our land Maira.

Your ride is waiting for you this side.

And there it was. A pretty girl smiled at me and I recognised her- Needa, our event manger. My first meet with her was really good. Being so young, yet so confident for her work is commendable. It was my first time in this city. From last 3 years, my mornings, my nights, my festivals, all have been in different cities, with new faces and a lot of music.

I remember being an in house DJ for a small club in our city. From that small job to this popularity I have come a long way. All I do now is... I travel; play, sleep, play and I travel.

I love my life because I love my work. This is what I always wanted to be. There were so many objections as I belong to a family of engineers. They allowed playing as a DJ sometimes for interest but choosing it as a career was never their take. I remember a New Year when I first got to play for a party of my friend other than a club. The moment clock struck 12, with the crowd going crazy, somewhere in my mind I had made it clear- this is what I have to do all my life... the way I heard people yelling my name I knew this was all I wanted to hear... DJ Maira!

Yes, it feels bad that I don’t get to celebrate these days with my family. I feel alone many a times when we video call and I see my family together. But I am satisfied with the fact that when I am home I am all theirs, and my Mom proudly tell my relatives when she watches me on TV.

I was busy in my own thought when the car stopped before the hotel. Needa left soon and I was left all by myself, of course with the welcoming bed.

----------------------------------------------------------

My slow morning picked up gear as I dropped Maira at the hotel. In the next 3 hours I met the caterers, we started with the decorations, checked the arrangements again and again and I got nervous as many times I breathed. Everything was smooth till now, yet I was panicking a lot. After all it was my first ever event.

I totally jumped into event management after 12^th; I worked for four years during and after my course. Those four years brought a lot of things to me; concerts, parties, corporate events and what not. But what always kept me going was to start it of my own. I had worked day in day out for this one evening, saved a lot of money and stayed away from my family at times. But it was all fruitful when I saw my family making merry over my start and proudly inviting their friends for my first event.

There was a lot of pressure, there were so many who suggested me not to start this soon, that too in my own city as it’s not a metro. But then there was something called believe in self that was all.

It was five in the evening. The event had to start at 8 o’clock. I was confident. Everything was set, there were only a few hours left for my dream event. I suddenly felt sad. The reason was unknown but I felt sad and negative. What if things would fall out of place? That one question led to another bundle of questions... What If I would not be able to sell all the passes, what if people would not like the food, what if the atmosphere would not be decent, what if this ... what if that.... what if I just... suck been an independent planner?

There I was standing at the middle of the party lounge, 3 hours away from my event and I found myself stuck in these thoughts. I took a deep breath, held myself. And the next moment! I just turned around and what I saw was true magic.

Before me was the stage, all set up with lights, all the counters were looking fabulous, the VIP lounge was more like a 3-star set up and the light and shades were totally wearing itself in my venue. All my confidence was back in the place again. I knew for the fact that even if I suck, I would loose money but gain experience.

----------------------------------------------------------

What else could you do when your friend was a total loss? I couldn’t sleep the whole night in the fear and excitement of Need’ event. I woke up early only to hear no answer to my calls. As always she was late and she broke her promise to take me with her to pick Maira. Now, I had to wait till the evening to meet her. Meanwhile, I did all the boring yet relaxing things like watching TV at home, checking social media accounts time and again, going to spa and parlour, trying my dress and sleeping.

I had come to my hometown on vacations and this time I had cancelled all other plans for Needa’s event. We are childhood friends. Ever since I know how to spell ‘friend’, I have her. She is vibrant, crazy and yes, always late; yet my best friend.

I was never enthusiastic about extra-curricular like her but she never topped exam like me either.

I was always passionate about computers, software and animations. That took me to moving out of the city to the near big city for engineering and then for job. I love my work as I design games for all generations. Staying away from family was never my choice but then I had to choose between the two: family and career. Yes, choosing this career gave me lesser gatherings with family but I am happy whenever I meet them and I am satisfied when I see them happy about me. Family is always primary with all the other choices that I want to make for me.

I was sitting with my Mom in the parlour when I got Needa’s SMS:

Get ready Ala; I will be there in 10 minutes.

----------------------------------------------------------

It is never easy to pursue your dream they say but there is nothing called difficult if you are happy doing something, they miss. And it was visible aloud, as I entered the arena of the event. Needa, you have killed it. I talked to myself when I saw my friend’s dream come true. The same felling I get when I design a new game. It was all decent and full house party as people were coming non-stop, as I saw people converting into a crowd. It was a proud moment for me and a fan moment too when Needa finally introduced me to Maira when she checked in to play the night for us.

----------------------------------------------------------

And there it was. My last night dream. Quarter to twelve and the crowd was going mad over Maira’s tunes, everything was as real as I had seen the last night and all the previous night which went sleepless to make this happen. And yes! I dint suck at all, it was a full house party, the sponsor had his chin high, my parents were already at cloud 9, Ala was more than happy for me. It was a perfect picture. Never thought it would be so great to see your growth before your eyes. I know things were going to change for good... from now on!

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Yet again, it brought my favourite moment. I was there at the stage facing the lovely faces that were cheering my name and were dancing happily on the mixes I played. And the time countdown for 12 began even I lost my wits. This countdown always filled me with possibilities to explore more; more of life, more of music and more of nature through it. I lowered the sound as we began

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

HAPPPYYY NEWWW YEARRR!!! And a new year started with happiness.