Darshatha- the visible voice : human

Showing posts with label human. Show all posts

Friday, 8 July 2022

How to get attention? by Juhi Meshram

If you ask people how to get attention, they mostly say why do you want it? Why would somebody want attention? There are a thousand explanations but a simple answer that they wish to feel wanted, we all do. We want people to remember us, miss us, value us or want us in different ways and there is nothing immature about it. But the big question is how do you get attention?

Well, you don't get it by simply asking for it, because we humans find hidden answers in simple things. You are considered desperate for trying hard and ignorant for keeping it casual. So when a friend asked me this question and I had nothing to say to her, I decided to Google "how to get attention from a man?". And as expected I found so many articles but not a single one had the answer for that. Instead, the articles said so much about how to impress your man, how to understand signs from a man or how to keep him interested in you. There was not one sensitive answer for a woman who might be looking for one, who might be looking to be considered important. It got me thinking, is it too off-stream to demand attention?

So I asked myself why would I, a 29 year old woman, ask Google about what a woman wants. So I stormed into my inner woman for an answer and I realized that there's no direct answer for it since I don't know how a man's mind work and it is not my place to guess or tell a man how to make a woman feel more attended. But there is one thing that is in my place to do and that is what I am going to do here.

I am going to tell you one very obvious thing that we all know but avoid confronting and that is our true emotion. The reason being, whenever we have tried it in the past, we have been heartbroken. Be it in our past relationships, our social lives or our professional lives. If I speak for majority of women, we have been taken for granted by our men, we have tried too hard to fit into society and we have definitely been questioned for making it big in our careers. It has been empowering to fight the odds but it has always been tough for our mental well being. Is it easy to understand now that why a woman seeks attention?

There might be a similar story for men but I would leave it for a man to tell. As for a woman, being a woman, all I can say is that we all have someone special in our lives and those special ones need our time, attention and emotion from time to time. And for you, no matter how many people you have in your life, you want that one person to be attentive to you. Now, this one special person might change multiple times in your life but till the time you have that one person, give them all the attention you can. And if you think it's too tough for you to provide them with that, then be upfront and tell them. Lets just be realistic and accept that there can be different special ones in different point of our lives or more than one special-ones at same point of our lives. Yes! I am considering the casual relationships we have and even then we are entitled to value all our 'casually-special' ones. I am a woman and I want attention and so does your woman. And instead of thinking why does anybody want attention, just think that a little attention may soothe a fragile mind struggling to sail through the day.

written by:

Juhi Meshram

on cover:

Nibedita Upadhyai

Sunday, 1 August 2021

wildlife

Let's Be Friends by Shristi Nangalia

wearedarshatha 16:00

“It’s Sunday! And it's friendship day! Let’s go fishing!” I was excited to test the new fishing rod that I bought. Coco, my Labrador, came running to me. Behind him, came my 9 year old son, Dhiru. But he did not look very happy.

“What happened, Dhiru? Why are you unhappy?”

“Papa, why do we have to go fishing?” he asked in a sulky tone.

“Because... it is a holiday! Don’t you remember the fishes we caught last time?”

“Umm.. but don’t you think fishes like it more when they are under water? I mean, we only kill them for our dinner. We can have... veggies too...” he said.

“Woah, where is this coming from? You had so much fun the other day. I bought this new rod only for you.” I was confused and did not know what to say. Coco was staring at Dhiru too.

“Thank you for it, Papa. But I think we should not use the nature.”

“Use? Yeah, but we cannot do without using nature, buddy.”

“But we are using too much.... Everything of it. And in return, we give nothing.” Dhiru made me start to think.

“Who told you all this, Dhiru? The TV guys?” I really wanted to know.

“We had a guest at school yesterday. He talked to us. He is a conversationist.”

“Haha, you mean a conservationist.”

“Conservationist, yeah!” Dhiru continued... “He said... Our car harms the air, our garbage harms the soil, we use too much water everyday.... and now we are eating nature too...”

“We are eating nature?” I was dumbfounded.

“The animals, Papa! We are eating the nature! Nature has always given to us and we only use it without thinking.”

“But.. Coco likes to eat fish. And we love it too. Don’t we?”

“Yes Papa, but that’s not love. If we love fish, we should let them go. I cannot think of being killed and cooked... and eaten... and..”

“Don’t say that!!!” I shouted.

He went silent. He slowly put his head down in disappointment. I put my head down too... in shame.

Coco got really stimulated seeing us sad. He vigorously started licking me and Dhiru’s face. Dhiru’s words, Coco’s expression, this silence... everything made me stop and... think.

“Papa, he said we have already used the amount of nature that was given to us for the whole year. It is only August. Now after this, whatever we will be using is not ours... not ours yet.”

“Really? It was the overshoot day?”

“Yes, the overshoot day. Look at Coco... the trees.. the lakes.. they are all our friends. They provide us with food, material and health... and company.” He made sense.

“Hehe, yes...”

“But only they do their part...like a friend. But we are not good friends to them. We only think about us. The wooden floor we are sitting on was once a green tree. They oil we use were beautiful flowers... Nature is all around us.. Helping us live.”

“That is true, Dhiru.” I understood what he was trying to say.

His face was still dull. I wanted to cheer him up.

“Come with me.” I said. Coco stood up at once and his eyes widened.

“Where are we going?” Dhiru asked.

“To the fishes.” I said with a straight face.

“Let’s just not go fishing, Papaaaa.” I could see tears forming in his eyes.

“No Dhiru, we aren’t going to fish. Let’s pick some fish food on the way and you can feed them all at the lake.” I smiled then.

“REALLYYYY... YAAAYYYY.” screamed Dhiru. Coco retorted with running around us.... jumping.

“Let’s just do what we can, from now on. Let’s be good friends to nature.”

“Yayyyyyy... Yes Papa, we will.” Dhiru’s eyes gleamed.

“Let’s go fast!” I said clapping my hands. Coco jumped more.

“Yes.. Let me get the car keys.” Dhiru stood up.

“No bud. We are walking.”

Sunday, 25 July 2021

vibration

Humanly Resonance by Shristi Nangalia

wearedarshatha 14:26

Do you believe in the theory that says when people vibrate with the same frequency, they attract themselves towards one another? That when people meet, they are 'meant' to meet? Do you believe that universe fights for souls to come and to be together?

I think I do.

I know.. It is not easy to buy that there is a universe sitting above us, pushing people in certain directions, irrespective of the daily lives they are already leading. But, why not? Keeping all rationality and cognitive thinking aside, I particularly am sold on the essence of romanticism and mystique the concept holds. May or may not be for a particular motive or purpose, I believe people (or matter per se) don't encounter or engage for nothing.

When you mindlessly find yourself at a random worldly chatroom and you connect with a stranger on a deeper level, when you suddenly meet a schoolmate you never talked to at a party and realise you have a lot of common interests, when you team up with a co-worker and attach with them quicker than you could ever have, when you feel in 'sync' with a person regardless of their age, gender or relation.. it should (could*) mean something, right!?

And no, its not just about love or attraction. I believe, syncing up with an other person can make us feel a little more understood, a little more owned. This convergence can, in turn, reduce anxiety and induce mental healing and wellbeing. The act of recognising the association can itself feel liberating and can boost one's knowledge of self. So, why resist it when there may be a chance? It doesn't have to appear like a fairytale. It can be simple, but assuring. Your heart will know.. even if your mind disapproves.

It is not something to fret about though. We don't have to wait for it, we don't have to work towards it. It should, above all, feel as effortless, smooth and organic as breathing. I guess, only then it can bring a positive difference in our lives.

Thursday, 12 January 2017

youth

Refine Your Soul by Juhi Meshram

wearedarshatha 17:00

“Okay! Comment on the YOUNG INDIA take by the minister”

“What is there to talk about? After all that we hear every day, how can this generation be trusted.”

“Yes, you are right. We surely have most of young people in our country, but not the whole generation is

sane.”

“And that creates a huge difference.”

That day I heard a group of people discussing young generation as I walked back home. The last night had exhausted me really bad. But my mind was alert to everything which was happening around me. I had inherited this from my experiences. My past had positively prepared my mind and body to work in every condition.

The time I unlocked my flat I instantly walked into the kitchen, gulped the whole bottle of water in a go and I lay on bed. As I was trying to sleep, the words I had just heard struck me. How can this generation be trusted? How can anyone be trusted? Trust? What is trust?

I woke up to a call. “Asha, I am going to meet the Commissioner. I will call you after that; we have to discuss that village issue.” I hung up and walked lazily to the washroom. It wasn’t my daily routine. Actually I didn’t really have a routine, I never had one. Every day for me was a new day, every morning was a new place and every night was a pain. I kept my mind busy because even a pinch of my past was enough to weaken me to the cores.

I walked downstairs to buy milk packet. had a super market opposite our colony. I use to visit the store so often. The owner was in his late twenties. He was not there all the time. Whenever we had met in the past was a refreshing time as we used to exchange our work experience. And it was rare for me to meet people outside my work.

That day when I visited the store I didn’t find him. But I met a new girl.

“Hi, do you guys have olives?”

“Hain?”, her response told me she didn’t know English.

“Beta, yaha olives hai? Jaitoon?”

“Ma’am she is new here. She doesn’t know anything”, a regular worker told me.

“Oh, no problem. Do you have olives? I am not able to spot.” I asked again.

“Yes ma’am, this way, I will bring it to you.” he was polite as usual.

I was in the billing counter when saw the girl again in the corner. She was gazing the road continuously with a blank but expecting face.

“Who is she?” I asked the girl in the counter.

“She is Abhay sir’s cousin, Meera. She lives in village; is here for on vacation.

“That’s great. You look nervous, is it your first time away from home?”

She did not reply.

I left for home but her face was flashing before my eyes. People feel discomfort in new places but her! She was doomed, as if she wanted to escape something. She actually reminded me of my own childhood, her face resembled my teen age.

I saw Ramesh at the other end. I paid to the auto driver and crossed road. We greeted and without delay, we headed to cafe for exchanging our research.

“I got this final list of girls.” He said.

“Only girls?”

“Yeah just girls, we have a list of twenty one girls; sixteen of them have been trafficked as domestic helps in different cities. They are yet to be located. There are five girls that police claims have been sold as a sex worker”, he explained.

I was stunned. I couldn’t say a word. It wasn’t that we had confronted such issue for the first time. All these years that had passed working for children who accidentally or forcefully fall into trafficking, these stories were so common for us. People called us activist but what if this trafficking had not existed. Then we could live a normal life, and then maybe I too had slept peacefully at night.

Ramesh nudged me away from my thoughts. When I gained my senses again, we were set to apart to different destinations. Just then, I got a call from the police. Next ten minutes I saw Ramesh’s anxiety growing as my reactions worsened. I couldn’t keep it for long, “six of the girls have been recognized, and they have been trafficked to our city Ramesh. Police have successfully traced the dealers and they are on their way to raid.” I continued in single breathe, “They have called us to take the data, and then we can start chasing the places that have been traced.”

“Yeah, yeah! Sure! Let’s go.”

We had taken the same way for according to the latest update. On our way towards the police station we were hoping to find the six girls. We prepared new strategies, talked and talked, and then reached the station.

Everyone in the station was in rush. Few of them were calling other work stations to circulate the details, fax machines were getting used for the same; few teams had already been sent to raid and then there was head inspector who was waiting for us.

We were given the details of the six girls. We were studying the details when the inspector got a call. As soon as he hung we were informed to trace a new target. The information had details of a human trafficker.

“These people have been accused and inquired in past about human trafficking. We did not get enough evidence to file a case then but their actions and work is questionable.” And he started going into the details for each one of them.

He listed one by one and we recorded the key points as we had to visit each of them to search. Every time there was a case of human trafficking in the city, we used to help police by all the ways possible. It was our job and it basically wasn’t a help but we felt it to be our responsibility.

“Abhay Pratap Singh. He is a twenty eight years old businessman who belongs to a nearby village. He owns total of 8 shops in the city including 2 rice go-downs and 6 general stores. He had been accused for supplying girls from her village to the dealers and had also been arrested twice for keeping drugs in his go-downs...” he was yet to complete when I interrupted.

“I know this man” I yelled.

“what?” was the reaction from all the men out there.

“Yes. He runs a supermarket opposite my building, I have met him several times but I never felt anything wrong about his profile.”

“He might be innocent. We have no strong evidence.”

“no! no no no!” I panicked this time.

All were asking me what, why, how and so many other questions as I started checking profiles of the six girls again, and again.

“No it is not her” I relaxed. “Is it possible that we have more of the trafficked girls in the city?” I queried again.

“Yes. We have no clue about nine girls yet.” said the police.

“I think we got one” I announced bluntly.

We reached the store but the girl wasn’t there. I inquired the workers about her to which they replied, “Abhay sir had come, he took her back, she didn’t seem happy here... He said he will be back after few days... He would be off to village by now”

Police searched Abhay for next few days. All his properties were seized. We kept on working and got nine girls instead six. Three were sent as domestic helps to high-society villas. Two of them, we saved from getting married. And the other four were to be sent abroad, were saved and sent to their respective homes.

But I got relief only when Meera was found. I didn’t even know her real name; neither did I get the chance to see her again. Abhay was imprisoned. Meera disclosed more names which helped us reach 8 more girls who were sent to different cities. I would have regretted all my life for not recognizing the culprit and the victim even after confronting them... if we couldn’t have found her.

The thing that pinched me the most was that Meera had been sold by her parents. We were alike. This whole issue pushed me back to the memories of my own childhood. Fifteen years had been passed. But there was no change in the lives. I was once sold by my mother in the exchange of money. I worked as a household servant for years, and then I was pushed to be a sex worker. I thank God who helped me escape all that, and gifted me a new purpose of life. But after all these years, even today, I hear the same stories time and again.

That night I couldn’t sleep as the questions kept tumbling my mind. How many years would it take to end this trafficking? What else should we do to get through it? Who were the origins of this crime? We had done everything to save humans till date, but we could never stop them to be trafficked. I had no answers but every question was generating a new question.

I woke up next morning lazily. I checked my cell phone, had no meeting lined up. I opened my news app. ANOTHER HUMAN TRAFFICKING RACKET HAS BEEN UNVEILED WITH THE HELP OF YOUNG ACTIVISTS, it read. My neighbors would be happy with this generation, I thought... just then I read another headline, THOUSANDS OF GIRLS MOLESTED BY THE MOB DURING A CONCERT IN A METROPOLITAN CITY.