“Maa, do you see the big jumping horse?” she almost plunged from her seat pointed out to the airplane window.

“Jumping horse? Where, Tiya?” the lady sitting on the aisle seat asked.

“There.... in the clouds, maa!” she was still pointing and looking incessantly at the clouds outside.

“Oh, yes. Now I see it.” Her mother confirmed and her shocked face went smiling.

I was on the window seat and she was sitting between me and her mother. I had been noticing her since the time we boarded the airplane. The adult looking fair girl, named Tiya (which I overheard), had a slightly twisted knee and behaviour of a 12 year old. Autism, a disorder widely found but improperly judged, had her. She was initially whispering to her mother while we got on the plane but later got very excited looking at the shining white clouds passing by. Her consciousness was fixed on the window and the views outside.

“Hi, do you want to exchange seats with me?” I asked with a smile.

Her almost-smiling face turned to a wide-eyed shock as she saw me looking at her. She turned away immediately, moving her eyes from one thing to the other timidly.

Her mother noticed and smiled at me.

“She is not used to talking to strangers, I am sorry." the lady said in the politest of manner. That is when I noticed that Tiya was holding her mother’s hand tightly throughout.

“Oh! No problem, aunty. You can ask her... if she wishes to sit by the window.” I said.

 They exchanged a few more whispers. I looked outside and around, trying to act natural. But just then, a sharp unexpected scream startled me.

“AAAAAA....." "Hahahaaha.” “Hehehheh..."AAEE...”
Two kids in the preceding row were playing a strange game where they punched each other one after another.  

“Stop it, you two!” their mother, sitting adjacent to them, shouted out loud. With no positive response, she turned back to the movie she was watching... plugging her earphones.

They did not stop. For which I had to put on in my earphones too and play some nice songs on my new phone. I checked on Tiya; she looked disturbed. She had her shaking hands covering the ears and an agitated facial expression. Her mother was comforting her without saying a word. She calmed a little after a while... That is the magic of mothers, I suppose.  

I had a Disney animated movie on my phone memory; which I played to pass the time. After a little while, I felt Tiya’s head coming closer to mine. I tried to look at her from the side of my eyes. She had her eyes stuck on my phone, probably curious about the animated movie which I was playing. I tilted the screen a little so that she could see clearly. This time she smiled back at me.

Soon afterwards, we started talking. I asked her simple random things and she replied to each of it with a smile. She even let me see her drawing copy in which she scribbled words, animals and stick human figures. She was no longer holding her mother’s hand.

I could see Tiya's mother gently looking at her daughter with love, on whatever she did or said. Tiya got scared when the airplane experienced slight turbulence and when the naughty kids shouted and kicked the seats repeatedly. But there was no disrespect or anger of any sort; not on Tiya or on her mother. I guess, her mother chose to be calm and subtle at every time... so that she could teach her daughter to be the same.

Being a sober mother, having Tiya, nourishing and cherishing her....all this and she was smiling. This made me question the unimportant things that I complain about every now and then.
That day, I did not expect I would sonder and understand the real meaning of it. I did not expect Tiya and a parent to Tiya, could teach me lessons for life. I learned to stay, and to stay kind. It became clear to me that is not about the heights that I would reach during my existence, but it is about the little milestones that I create for myself on the ground.

Sometimes, people whom we think need assistance, assist us in making our lives better by enlivening the little lamps of goodness inside. I thought it was Tiya’s curiosity that bought her to me, but in actuality, it was her generosity.

Like every other year, I was short of ideas. I always wanted to make the most productive resolutions for the New Year. I am great at business ideas, I am good at inventing new recipes in the kitchen, but I don’t know what happens when it comes to resolutions.

I asked my friends about theirs. One of them said he would stop eating tobacco, one had promised to launch his start-up this year and the others do not believe in resolutions at all. I don’t eat tobacco or cigarette, I am the CEO of my company and I am a hardcore believer of resolutions. No hope here. I felt like drowning. A few days back, my wife said that we should make most of the first day of the year because the whole year follows it. I promised her that we would spend it the most memorable way, the most ‘perfect’ way.

I had to do something about the resolution thing!

‘Help me out. I am looking for resolution ideas!’ I updated my social media status.

My aunt asked me to shift to my hometown, my friends had other rubbish ideas, but I wished to murder the ones who told me to become ‘nicer’ or ‘kinder’ or to ‘love more’. Come on! I am nice enough and I am kind enough to the world. Is that even a valid resolution?

I realized there was no luck in asking anyone anything. Maybe I had to spend this year too without an aim. Little did I know that this first day of the year had different plans for me.

 I woke up to my ringing phone. It was 8 in the morning.

“Good morning, beta.” It was my mother.

“Mummy! Why did you wake me up early in the morning? Don’t you know it’s my holiday today? I would have slept till late. You just ruined my day!!” I was yelling, almost.

“Are beta, I am so sorry. I just wanted to wish you a happy new year.”

“Whatever. I will call you after breakfast.” I hung up not caring about her reply.

It soiled my mood. Neera was probably in the kitchen. She came running to the bedroom upon hearing me shout.

“What happened, Durjan? Who was it?” she asked.

“Mummy.” I was upset.

“It’s okay. Sleep some more.”

“No, I am done.” I stood up and went into the bathroom.

A little later, Neera and I were on the breakfast table.

“It was a moment of the past. I think you should bring her back home.” she said in a serious tone.

“What do you mean? I am doing it wrong? She is safe in an old age home, not in a jail!” I was yelling again.

“She does not deserve a jail. You know what happened that night.”

“Yes, I know. She was to take care of Appu. She had one job!!” the innocent face of Appu, my little daughter, came in front of my eyes. She got lost. Nobody knows where.

“But it was not mummy’s fault. She is an old lady, she had a habit of sleeping at 9. We were late. It was 12 when we returned.” Neera justified. We had never discussed this matter before.

 “So, what? Bringing her back home will bring our Appu back?”

“Is keeping her away making it any better?” she was firm, a picture of her that I don’t usually see.

“Yes it is. I cannot stand her. Not after all this.”

“Wasn’t she there from the day when you first stood on your feet till the day you actually stood on your feet? I know it was not easy for us. It was not easy for her too. Now, she is alone there.”

“There are other old people around. And, why are you supporting her? Have she started calling you, moulding you?” I was not sounding sensible and I knew.

“Not moulded, but she had shaped me. She taught me your favourite dishes. She taught me to take care of a baby. She wanted to make Appu stronger than you.”

“Rubbish. I don’t want to talk about it. Finish off your works soon, we will leave for lunch at 1.” I walked away. I knew what I was doing. I kept myself busy in office homework.

It was time. We drove to the Rajasthani restaurant for lunch. It is my favourite spot to go on holidays. I was thinking about the lovely food we were going to have. My mood had started getting better. I tried to forget the morning brawl and kept up the smile.

We entered the restaurant. Most of the tables were occupied because it was the new year day. I ran my eyes through the hall to find a good seat when I saw an old woman sitting alone on the corner most table. She looked pretty much like my mother, but a lot older. That’s when I remembered that I told mummy that I would call her after breakfast. I quickly killed the thought as I found an empty table near the centre.

But... “This way, Sir.” The manager guided us to that very corner table.

When we got closer, I realised that the old lady was no one else but mummy. She had aged so much in a short time- I thought in my head. Her face was full of wrinkles, a lot more than I last met her. The smile added to the curves of her skin. Yes, she was smiling but I was not. I glared at Neera.

“You did this?” I asked standing near the table. She was silent.

“Sit beta, you both look really good.” Mummy said. I gave way for Neera to sit in front of mummy, then I sat beside Neera. I was not looking at mummy. But my eyes were craving to look at her, her grown wrinkles and her white hair.

 “How are you, mummyji?” Neera asked.

“I am good, beta. We don’t have things to do there. So, I made this halwa for you both today.” She passed a box towards me. I took it and kept it on the table.

“I am yet to make a halwa as good as yours, mummyji.” Neera was trying to impress her or something. It was out of my understanding.

“But, your kheer is my favourite. Uh... was my favourite. S-sorry.” Mummy lowered her head when I glanced at her. “Durju, I feel so happy to see you both after so long. Have you started colouring your hair?”

“Yes. Now, please order the food Neera, I am hungry.” It was getting more awkward for me.

 We finished eating. I was silent the whole time. Only Neera and mummy exchanged a few thoughts. Instances of the past came running in front of me. Things that she said often, how she saved me from the tuitions, how I slept in her arms every night – came in my mind in flashes. I pacified with time. I would not say that I became comfortable, but her presence was okay for me now.

The waiter kept the bill on the table and left.

“Durju, isn’t this the shirt that your ex-boss gifted you? But you know what will look even better with this grey shirt? This blue cardigan that I knit for you.” She had bought another gift for me. Why?

I was staring at her.

“I worked extra long yesterday to complete it. I had to. I started learning to knit in March. It was my resolution for this year. And you know that breaking resolutions is not my thing.”

I was still staring at her. How could she? After all the negativity, after all the anger that I showed her, how could she work the year long for me? Every moment of Appu’s absence made me hate her more and more. My belief in destiny made me soothe my sorrow soon but the ego made me keep the grudge on my mother. I knew all this time, that it was not solely her fault. But I hated her.  

But she, she made me her resolution. Not thinking about how wrong it was on my part to give up on her and leave her on her own. Papa left her suddenly too, without an explanation. She did not complain. I left her too, she did not complain. I suddenly felt very guilty. My eyes were wet. I could see her eyes twinkling a little more too. I was her resolution. And maybe it was my time to return the gesture.

“You are coming home with us today.” I said. Neera grabbed my hand and we smiled.

This year, I unknowingly created two resolutions for myself. One- I would never let my past control my present. Two- My mother is my root, my nourishment. I will never leave her side, I will be her nourishment from now on.

Maybe it was destiny, maybe it was karma. But, the first day of this year went just how my wife and I wanted it to be- PERFECT.