Happy new yeaarrr!!! LET’S NACHO. This is the best moment. The whole year I have waited for this one time, this one hour. The sound of woofers, flicker of lights, roaring people, overloaded fun, and the whole atmosphere is hyped. But I love to live this hyped life. The moment when all family, friends, strangers; in fact the whole world rejoice together to bid goodbye to the year and welcome a new one.

Standing beside my friend & DJ Alex I am feeling so proud to experience the success of my first ever independent event and trust me, it’s insane. The crowd is making me feel high and trust me again; I haven’t gulped a single drop of alcohol yet. This moment is no less than intoxication and I am totally drowned into it.

I am closing my eyes now, to feel the passing air, its chilled! Yeah! I am feeling a nudge in my shoulder, someone is calling me... but I don’t want to break this moment... GO AWAY!!! IT’S MY TIME. “YES, IT IS TIME WAKE UP NOW.” The voice yelled.

10 a.m. Shit man! I am late. I had to call the caterers. The decorators, they must have reached the lounge and what about Ala? Shit! Shit! Shit!

“You must be dreaming about the party, I am trying to wake you up from the last two hours....”

“C’mon Maa, you should have thrown me out of bed, I am too late! I had to see the decoration and... And there is a lot... Wait! I had to pick up Maira and her troupe from the airport on 11 and... It is 10:15.

“Maira?”

“Our DJ for tonight, Maa. Please take out my black pants and... yeah my sweatshirt is here. I will leave in 5 minutes, Maa please be fast.”

“Beta, eat before you leave, you will be busy the whole day.”

“I have no time Maa, please get my things ready!”

I yelled as I shut the bathroom door.

The moment I stepped out of the airport was a pure surprise. There was a guy holding my name board which read

                                                 Welcome to our land Maira.

                                          Your ride is waiting for you this side.

And there it was. A pretty girl smiled at me and I recognised her- Needa, our event manger. My first meet with her was really good. Being so young, yet so confident for her work is commendable. It was my first time in this city. From last 3 years, my mornings, my nights, my festivals, all have been in different cities, with new faces and a lot of music.

I remember being an in house DJ for a small club in our city. From that small job to this popularity I have come a long way. All I do now is... I travel; play, sleep, play and I travel.

I love my life because I love my work. This is what I always wanted to be. There were so many objections as I belong to a family of engineers. They allowed playing as a DJ sometimes for interest but choosing it as a career was never their take. I remember a New Year when I first got to play for a party of my friend other than a club. The moment clock struck 12, with the crowd going crazy, somewhere in my mind I had made it clear- this is what I have to do all my life... the way I heard people yelling my name I knew this was all I wanted to hear... DJ Maira!

Yes, it feels bad that I don’t get to celebrate these days with my family. I feel alone many a times when we video call and I see my family together. But I am satisfied with the fact that when I am home I am all theirs, and my Mom proudly tell my relatives when she watches me on TV.

My slow morning picked up gear as I dropped Maira at the hotel. In the next 3 hours I met the caterers, we started with the decorations, checked the arrangements again and again and I got nervous as many times I breathed. Everything was smooth till now, yet I was panicking a lot. After all it was my first ever event.

I totally jumped into event management after 12^th; I worked for four years during and after my course. Those four years brought a lot of things to me; concerts, parties, corporate events and what not. But what always kept me going was to start it of my own. I had worked day in day out for this one evening, saved a lot of money and stayed away from my family at times. But it was all fruitful when I saw my family making merry over my start and proudly inviting their friends for my first event.

There was a lot of pressure, there were so many who suggested me not to start this soon, that too in my own city as it’s not a metro. But then there was something called believe in self that was all.

It was five in the evening. The event had to start at 8 o’clock. I was confident. Everything was set, there were only a few hours left for my dream event. I suddenly felt sad. The reason was unknown but I felt sad and negative. What if things would fall out of place? That one question led to another bundle of questions... What If I would not be able to sell all the passes,  what if people would not like the food, what if the atmosphere would not be decent, what if this ... what if that.... what if I just... suck been an independent planner?

There I was standing at the middle of the party lounge, 3 hours away from my event and I found myself stuck in these thoughts. I took a deep breath, held myself. And the next moment! I just turned around and what I saw was true magic.

What else could you do when your friend was a total loss? I couldn’t sleep the whole night in the fear and excitement of Need’ event. I woke up early only to hear no answer to my calls. As always she was late and she broke her promise to take me with her to pick Maira. Now, I had to wait till the evening to meet her.  Meanwhile, I did all the boring yet relaxing things like watching TV at home, checking social media accounts time and again, going to spa and parlour, trying my dress and sleeping.

I had come to my hometown on vacations and this time I had cancelled all other plans for Needa’s event. We are childhood friends. Ever since I know how to spell ‘friend’, I have her. She is vibrant, crazy and yes, always late; yet my best friend.

I was never enthusiastic about extra-curricular like her but she never topped exam like me either.

I was always passionate about computers, software and animations. That took me to moving out of the city to the near big city for engineering and then for job. I love my work as I design games for all generations. Staying away from family was never my choice but then I had to choose between the two: family and career. Yes, choosing this career gave me lesser gatherings with family but I am happy whenever I meet them and I am satisfied when I see them happy about me. Family is always primary with all the other choices that I want to make for me.

I was sitting with my Mom in the parlour when I got Needa’s SMS:

Yet again, it brought my favourite moment. I was there at the stage facing the lovely faces that were cheering my name and were dancing happily on the mixes I played. And the time countdown for 12 began even I lost my wits. This countdown always filled me with possibilities to explore more; more of life, more of music and more of nature through it. I lowered the sound as we began

                         10      9       8       7       6         5         4         3         2         1

HAPPPYYY NEWWW YEARRR!!! And a new year started with happiness.

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It was very late at night when I finished my freelance assignment. I finally shut my desktop down and switched off the charger. When I attempted to stand, the lack of sensation in my legs made me remember that I was not an average person anymore. The sudden jerk channelled a sharp pain through my spine. I sat down in disappointment. Paraplegia destroyed my simple but happy life. And now, I was nothing more than a piece of load for my wife and daughter. I was not used to this immobility yet. It was only 28 days after I got discharged from the hospital. Day by day, only the physical pain was fading, not the mental.

“It’s Christmas, papa!” said my little one the next morning. After the accident, there was not a single day when she came running and hugged me from behind. Not a single day when I snatched the TV remote from her and we ran around in the house. Not a single day that we spend the night eating and sleeping in the living room itself. She could not. I could not.

“Papa!!” her yell brought me back into reality.

“Yes, beta. Merry Christmas to my Taani.” I said when she came and kissed me on my forehead. I felt like a kid, and she my guardian.

“Merry Christmas! Get up now, I have made your arrangements in the bathroom.” she instructed. She could have asked me for presents but she did not. She could have done her make-up while singing in front of the mirror but she did not. She could have spent her Christmas morning with her friends but she did not. I knew I was the reason.

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I've bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Daily activities which took no time were now hefty jobs for me. Sometimes, the urge to stand and walk and run made me cringe to frustration. Everybody said that I was not good with patience. I should have learnt to keep some when I was not abnormal. Now, it felt impossible. I tried my best to look composed every time.

As I came out of the bathroom on the wheelchair, my wife Ranjee was standing with a wrapped box and a face full of grin.

“Merry Christmas, Jay.” she said, handing me the box. She had bought me a present. But, why? Wasn’t I who was supposed to buy my family presents?

“You bought me a gift! This was not needed, biwi.” I said to her.

“A gift is not a need, a gift is a gift!” she proudly declared with a wide smile.

It was a red t-shirt. “Red is the colour of Christmas and red is the colour of love.” she was almost jumping. “I love you!” she said quickly and ran away.

How sweet it was of her. And I couldn’t even thank her. She has always been loving and innocent. Can she handle every one of us in the long run? What should I do to help her when I am the one in need?

I needed assistance in everything that I did and Ranjee & Taani were totally affected by it. I had to quit my day job and find a work-from-home job. This directly put pressure on Ranjee financially. Taani spent her time at home helping me in petite works. The guilt was eating me bit by bit.

When we finally kiss good night
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm

Ranjee and Taani were busy in the kitchen. I was staring at the TV screen mindlessly. The sudden sound of falling utensils made me realise that I was watching cartoon. I tried to grab the remote but it was kept out of the reach of my hand. I tried to lean, I tried to stand, but could not. I wheeled my chair inside to work a little and to keep myself busy. The charger got stuck in the chair wheel and came out of the plug. I knew I could not plug it in myself.  

I was getting irritated with my state. I wanted to end it. I made up my mind instantly. I knew that the best way to end everything was to end me. I just needed an opportunity and a chest full of guts.

‘Never miss an opportunity’ my father used to say. I wheeled my chair slowly towards the cupboard. I opened it all by myself and started looking for the packet of blades that I bought last month. My hands were not shivering, I was not nervous. I knew that it was for the best. I searched, I frantically searched.

“Jay!” Ranjee’s abrupt call frightened me.

 “Yes!”

“By the time I set up our dinner, could you help Taani in maths?” Ranjee asked.

I regained the lost consciousness in a go. “Yes, why not?” I was good at it. We sat and worked. And finished her homework soon in the afternoon itself.

“Thanks, papa. What would I do without you?” said Taani and went into her room.

This unattended question made me think way beyond what I was considering. What would they do without me? My mind flashed scenes with worn out faces of both Ranjee and Taani crying in front of my picture frame. I pushed those flashes aside. Something changed in me. Maybe, the storm was subsiding. Maybe, I crossed the storm successfully. Maybe, I won.

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It was a holiday and we spent the day lazing around, watching TV and eating junk together. We watched ‘The Valentine’s Day’ movie on the Christmas Day. I wore the gifted red t-shirt in the evening. We were together. We smiled, we laughed. It was just like any holiday. My inability did not matter anymore. A gush of positivity ran through me right when the church bell rang. I smiled.

“Take me to the carols tonight.” I told Ranjee.

“Sure, we all are going.” she was smiling with me.

“Yaayyy, finally papa has got a wish!” Taani was highly cheerful that night.

We reached the church gate. I wheeled myself inside and we all sat to pray. The moments of silence and the festive day taught me some great life lessons. Difficult times are to be fought with full spirit and faith. Family is not about perfections; but about accepting the imperfections and still be happy. Family is the ultimate strength, the anchor to life as long as we are here. And not to forget, Christmas can set anything and everything right.

'Let It Snow' is a song written by lyricist Sammy Cahn which is widely played during Christmas as a carol.